Saturday, 24 April 2010

baby: 39ish weeks

I am still here in all my roundness. Still feeling great, albeit increasingly impatient. More restless. And more contemplative. Missing what should have been with our sweet Alice. And wishing with all my heart that in a week or less or a little more we have a healthy 3rd baby. I know that so many people are wishing along with us and that's all we can do.

Wishing and waiting.

Monday, 12 April 2010

baby: 37 weeks

Less than 3 weeks to go. Less than 3 weeks to that magic date that often passes without anyone making an appearance. I gave up telling people the actual due dates of my babies long ago. Having that date out there seemed to create an enormous pressure or expectation to perform; to deliver on the day. So I am due sometime in the next 2 to 3 weeks. On a day, any old day that this baby chooses to arrive. Of course, deep down, I wish I knew when that would be. I wish I knew the date when the baby will send that secret message to my brain to get things moving. Then I would know when I should have the painting finished and the windows washed and my legs freshly shaved.

Monday, 5 April 2010

baby: 36 weeks

Here is another photo, another shot of the growing bump. I am not sure if it can still be classified as a bump - perhaps more of a hill or a mountain? You can see the bed hair and the half PJ/half street clothes look going on here. It was early(ish) and I am heavily pregnant so I think its OK. The skirt I am wearing, shirred waist and 80s inspired, has been the best 'around the house' article of clothing for this entire pregnancy. I think it cost $2.00 at one of my local op shops and the shirred waist has so cleverly grown along with me. It is so comfortable and even though quite unflattering on my hips and rear, it has been just the ticket.

I really could have brushed my hair...

Thursday, 1 April 2010

Little Mother and Mothering...

She makes it look so easy, heading out for the day with a newborn. Perhaps if I had pink boots like those and a bag on wheels, the first few weeks out and about with our new baby will be a breeze.

And that is a toy newborn, not a real one... Ours is still on the inside, running of space and letting me know about it! 4 and a bit weeks now. Or less or more. Or something like that. Scary when I see it written down.

Every so often I am overcome by a feeling of sadness or loss at the end of the days when it's just Minnie and I (and Steve, when he's not working or travelling). Of course we want this baby more than anything and after loosing Alice, I was desperate for the opportunity to mother another child. But separate to that is that feeling of the end of something, the end of the days when it's just us; 'the two girls'.

I know that soon, in 4 and a bit weeks, I will not be able to imagine a life without that other tiny little person. When the days will be spent as 'the two girls and the baby' while we wait for Steve to come home.

Even with the journey we have had, we are so fortunate. So many people will never get to sit where I am. I wish with all my heart that my friends were sitting here too.