Saturday, 24 April 2010
Monday, 12 April 2010
Less than 3 weeks to go. Less than 3 weeks to that magic date that often passes without anyone making an appearance. I gave up telling people the actual due dates of my babies long ago. Having that date out there seemed to create an enormous pressure or expectation to perform; to deliver on the day. So I am due sometime in the next 2 to 3 weeks. On a day, any old day that this baby chooses to arrive. Of course, deep down, I wish I knew when that would be. I wish I knew the date when the baby will send that secret message to my brain to get things moving. Then I would know when I should have the painting finished and the windows washed and my legs freshly shaved.
Monday, 5 April 2010
I really could have brushed my hair...
Thursday, 1 April 2010
And that is a toy newborn, not a real one... Ours is still on the inside, running of space and letting me know about it! 4 and a bit weeks now. Or less or more. Or something like that. Scary when I see it written down.
Every so often I am overcome by a feeling of sadness or loss at the end of the days when it's just Minnie and I (and Steve, when he's not working or travelling). Of course we want this baby more than anything and after loosing Alice, I was desperate for the opportunity to mother another child. But separate to that is that feeling of the end of something, the end of the days when it's just us; 'the two girls'.
I know that soon, in 4 and a bit weeks, I will not be able to imagine a life without that other tiny little person. When the days will be spent as 'the two girls and the baby' while we wait for Steve to come home.
Even with the journey we have had, we are so fortunate. So many people will never get to sit where I am. I wish with all my heart that my friends were sitting here too.