Wednesday, 11 March 2009

six

I don't write about Alice much on this blog. I do that elsewhere. Some of you know that already. Today is 6 months since she was born. And tomorrow is 6 months since she died. 6 long months. 6 short months. 6 months of grief and a sadness that I could have never imagined.

My life is a little odd - I seem to have 2 of them. One here in the happy world of sewing and puppies and crafting and Minnie and learning to knit. And the other life where I have friends with dead babies and we write and we talk and cry and scream and go about our day looking fine but, feeling like we want the earth to swallow us up.

I am not mad. Its just how it is.

While I sew and craft and take care of Minnie and struggle to cast on, I think of Alice and what we have lost and what could have been.

And I am sure I will do this everyday for the rest of my life.

14 comments:

katiecrackernuts said...

And so you should, every day. Blessings and pink bubbles to you and yours.

Michelle said...

Oh Rach, your poor broken heart.

Big hugs to you on this sad anniversary.

xx

CurlyPops said...

It's so difficult to put on a happy face for everyone and pretend that everything is ok in your world.
I'm glad that you have a place where you can let all of your feelings out when you need to.
I hope you're ok on such a sad day.

sophie said...

I didn't realise it had only been 6 months - I'm so sorry, I cannot even begin to know that kind of pain. I think it's important to honour anniversaries, even sad ones. I still celebrate my mum's life on the day she died, and we remember her birthday every year. It isn't something that goes away.

Amber said...

Oh Rach,

I am so sorry...

Lots of love...xxxxxx

JasperBoy said...

Thinking of Alice.

Thinking of You.

Jen in Melbourne.

Casey said...

I can't even begin to imagine what pain you must be going through. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that you are doing alright today

tiff said...

Of course you will.
Think of her every day.
and it's normal, so normal.
The happy mask, the two lives, everything.

Poppy and Mei said...

Arrrggggh. I wish I knew what to say.
To make it all easier.
Something to help.
Loving you...XXxx

Jessica said...

I'm sending hugs your way.
XXX

Claire (ethel loves fred) said...

6 months since I found you in blogland.
I never know what to say - but know that I care, even though we've never met in real life (we should do something about that I think).

Megan: The Byron Life said...

Oh Rach. No, you are not mad. Not at all mad...

xxxxx
ooooo

Jo said...

So sorry Rach. xxx

•´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Trish.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´• said...

(hugs)

Yes , we do think of our missing children every day , some days are worse than others!

It's normal it is part of our innermost thoughts and our own private hell.

Tiff is right ...two lives .. many faces and inconsolable sadness when others seem to forget the anniversaries.