So we have finally moved. The blue house is now ours and is bursting at the seams with cartons and mess and complete chaos. We had been so excited about this day coming - moving into our very own house. Our very own old blue house on the hill, looking out to the ocean and the lake. We received the keys after settlement and came straight here. I wasn't excited. I felt like vomiting. I wasn't happy and I didn't want to be here. Not like this. Not with so much sadness inside us.
But the next day we returned and the sun was shinning and we felt a little happier to be here. Happier to be here but not happy. Far from happy. Perhaps the furthest I have been.